I didn’t expect the Nintendo Switch 2 to bring up so many emotions. But it did. Not just because I was excited. Not just because I love Nintendo. But because I realized how long it’s been since I let myself look forward to something without guilt.

As a mom, as someone in between jobs, as a person who’s been in survival mode for longer than I care to admit… joy often feels like a luxury I have to justify. Even though I set money aside for the Switch 2 months ago — back before I lost my job, before I knew what the future would look like — I still found myself questioning whether I deserved it. Was it the right thing to buy? Was I being selfish? Was it irresponsible? The guilt crept in, quietly, like it always does when something is just for me.

But I bought it anyway. And I planned to make launch day special.

The Day Didn’t Go As Planned

I cleared my schedule. Told Alex I’d be disappearing into Switch 2 world. I imagined this cozy, uninterrupted day of pure excitement… something rare and joyful. Instead, I got to the store and was told mine hadn’t arrived yet. Even though I could literally see piles of consoles behind the counter, I wasn’t allowed to take one home due to some admin issue. And just like that, the excitement fizzled. I felt embarrassed, frustrated, even silly for caring so much. I walked home empty-handed.

Later that afternoon, I was told I could come back after 1pm to pick it up. And I did. I finally unboxed it around 2pm, on the phone with my brother, who was also opening his. That part was fun… sweet, even. We shared the moment. Later I watched a few YouTubers do the same, and chatted with folks in the Cozy Gaming Club Discord while they unboxed theirs. It felt like a little celebration, stretched across time zones and screens.

But life didn’t pause just because I had a new console. Elio went to bed super late, and I didn’t get to actually play until 10pm, by which point I was completely drained.

And Yet… There Was Still Joy

When I finally held the Nintendo Switch 2 in my hands, I felt it: that flicker of joy. It felt like a grown-up version of something I already loved. Familiar but new. Premium, but not flashy. The screen is stunning. The UI is beautiful. The little sounds it makes? So satisfying. The magnetic Joy-Con click? Weirdly delightful.

But more than all of that, it reminded me of me.

Not mom me. Not partner me. Not worker me. Just me.

This whole experience reminded me how powerful it is to feel genuine excitement for something, no matter what it is. To feel that anticipatory joy, to count down the days, to let yourself light up a little inside. I’ve missed that version of myself… the one who gets excited, who lets herself want something without apology.

It made me realize how often I’ve been silencing that voice. How often I’ve pushed joy to the side because it didn’t seem practical, or earned, or productive.

But joy doesn’t need to be earned. It just needs to be felt.

Guilt Doesn’t Get to Have the Last Word

I almost let guilt ruin this for me. The part of me that whispers, “You haven’t earned this,” or “There are more important things to spend on,” or “Who do you think you are?”

But the truth is, joy matters. Having something that’s just for me matters. And not everything has to be justified by usefulness or sacrifice.

The Switch 2 reminded me that it’s okay to feel excited. That it’s okay to want things. That it’s okay to enjoy something fully, even when everything else in life feels uncertain.

This wasn’t just about a console. This was about remembering who I am underneath all the roles. And allowing myself to feel good, without apology.

P.S. If you’ve been carrying guilt around something that brings you joy, I see you. You don’t need to justify it. Your joy is reason enough.