I was probably too confident when my contract at Cuinti ended. I think I got so lucky the first time around, landing a role so quickly, that I thought it would happen again. But now it’s been three months since I’ve been unemployed, and it’s starting to wear me down. Every time I open my inbox and see a new response from a company I applied to, I get my hopes up. And every time, it’s a rejection (a generic one 99% of the time). Not even an initial interview, not even one little bit interested in me? And that stings. Not because I think like I’m owed something, but because I know I’d do really well in a face to face. I just can’t seem to make it there though.

I think I’m bad at selling myself. I know there’s a whole art to tailoring your resume and writing the kind of cover letter that hits all the right notes for recruiters and hiring managers. But it ain’t me babe. No, no no, it ain’t me, babe. I understand that there’s 100s of applicants for jobs, and so there needs to be a quick and easy way to weed out the ones who wouldn’t be a great fit. But I genuinely think, if you met me face to face, and had a conversation with me, you’d find I would probably be a great fit. My resume just doesn’t tell the full story.

Maybe I’m just ranting and venting. But the thing is:

I know how to build stuff.

I’m building a web app right now, Backlog Explorer. I’ve built that thing from the ground up. I connected it to Supabase, wrote my own RESTful APIs and backend logic, and built the frontend using React and Daisy UI. I’ve integrated external APIs like OpenAI and IGDB. I’ve thought deeply about the user experience throughout the process. I’m testing it with real users. I’m fixing bugs, refactoring code, and prepping for a launch on July 17th.

I’m really proud of the work I’m doing with Backlog Explorer. This wasn’t a tutorial I followed or a template I copied. This was an idea I had to solve a pain point I felt around gaming. It’s all mine. I’m doing the work. I’ve been putting in the hours. And yet…I can’t seem to get a foot in the door.

It’s so frustrating, that disconnect between knowing what I’m capable of and the response to my applications. It makes me question myself, my skills, my worth. And it turns up the volume on my imposter syndrome. But, at the end of the day, I finally found something that I really love to do. I love making things. And coding feels so creative to me. And its so freaking cool that you can have an idea, build it, and then…there it is! Hopefully, one day, (soon please ☺️) someone else out there will see that too and give me a chance.

If you know anyone that’s hiring who might be looking for someone like me (curious, driven, and full of heart), I’d be so grateful if you passed my name along. I’m a junior developer who loves building meaningful things and learning as I go. Thank you! And thank you for reading!

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✉️ Got thoughts? While I don’t have any sort of a comments section, I’d still genuinely love to hear from you. So feel free to email me directly at joanaponderblog@gmail.com.